I think scott just propositioned me for sex
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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