Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
