you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
