so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
