please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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