i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
