the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
