After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
