I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I'm too high and old for this...
Randomize
