my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
