Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
