I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
