Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
my shit smells like andre
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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