At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
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