if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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