It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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