I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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