JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
My penis needs a shock collar
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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