Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
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