A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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