He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
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