I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
