STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Floor bacon is actually really good
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
