Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Randomize
