I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
