the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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