I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
