you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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