Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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