Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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