Well douche your snatch and let's go!
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
