she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
