you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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