I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
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