She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
