It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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