I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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