You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
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