I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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