I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
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