Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
