Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Randomize
