Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Randomize
