I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
