thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
