hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
