I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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