please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Randomize
