so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
