$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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