Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Randomize
