nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I DEMAND FORESKIN
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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