sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
you will always have a special place in my vag
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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