The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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