he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
