GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
