Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
My feet surprised me
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
