Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
