Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
