i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
