My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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