cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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